swarovski crystals are a girl's best friend

If you haven't heard about it yet, you must be living under a rock.

Jennifer Love Hewitt made it famous...but it's up to all you ladies out there to make it classy, not trashy.

I can't help but wonder what her style of vajazzling is. Does she go all out, diamonds everywhere or many colours and patterns? OR just something simple. There are really two ways to go, but I only approve of ONE of them.

This is not one of them:

Now, this is not a REAL or authentic vajazzle by the looks of it, you don't want to have any sort of variation like this. Don't put "juicy" or "enter here" anywhere near your vag. Gross. Also, colour scheme is key in thinking about your vajazzle. I suggest you stick to one colour of crystal to avoid turning your vagina into something tackier than your grandmother's couch. Maybe two if the colours really complement each other and aren't too loud.

The number of crystals you place down under also makes a difference. Depending on the design, sometimes a lot looks great, or extremely overdone and weird. How can you do it right? Well, I happen to like this little piece of work right here:

I think the best way to go about vajazzling is to keep it simple. I really do believe when it comes to your lady bits, simple is easy and beautiful. I mean, have you ever seen a woman's pubes shaved into hearts and stars? Strange, but whatever you think looks good, right?

Simple and classic, kind of like these, are your best bet. Also, they are less likely to freak out your guy when he heads on down to find a shimmering surprise.

Now you're probably wondering, where can I get these crystals glued to my lady bits!? You MUST, I repeat, MUST, go to a special salon to get it done. Doing it yourself is absolutely not allowed. Unless you want to do the whole trashy look, I recommend you suck it up and pay to get it done by a professional. Not only will it look way better, it will stay on because they can do it right.

Unfortunately, here in Ottawa there doesn't seem to be a studio that does vajazzling. Why is this? Come on Ottawa, are we really that reserved. I'm sure behind the pant suits, the ladies would like to make themselves smile with a few crystals in their nether regions.

But if you head to Toronto you can definitely add a little glamour, and as Hewitt says, make yourself feel better. I mean, I guess I couldn't help but laugh or something if I looked down and had crystals on my vaj. Lets be honest.

And for all you men out there...you must be jealous of all of this talk about vajazzling. Well if you want to give disco balls a whole new meaning, give it a try. I dare you!

-M

*Photos via vajazzlevajayjay.com, perfectlypolishednails.com, the dirtydoxy.com, and lolos beauty room.