How to: Make the most of the morning after

Maybe you've found yourself waking up in room you don't recognize upon first opening up your eyes. You look around, establish your surroundings, take a peek as to who is beside you...

The aftermath of a one night stand. But before you throw on last night's party dress and dash out the door before sleeping beauty wakes, I propose something else. And if said person is cute, there is no reason to say no. Take your one night stand into the morning.

So instead of sneaking out of the house, sneak into the bathroom for a quick hair/breath fix. Then you can dive in for a morning romp!

Why this is a good idea? It cuts out the awkwardness of a one night stand. You wanted to have fun the night before, so why not the next morning? Also, you might actually find that you like this person. Perhaps a surprise, but a good one, nonetheless. Obvious bonus: nothing cures a hangover like some wake up sex.

You may not feel 100%, but there's no reason why you can't hit the shower before continuing the day.

Maybe you can even chat further over breakfast...

-M

*image via sodahead.com

Happy V-day!

Happy Valentines day to all the lovers out there!

To the haters, please disregard this blog post, it's about to get mushy. I will just re-direct you here.

Gross couples everywhere have been waiting for this day. Roses and chocolates and dinner and all that other good stuff, of course. Have you been planning anything special?

One thing is for sure, if you're planning on hitting the town with your Valentine, you're going to want to make a reservation. But what else is there to do on V-day?

One of my personal favourites - eat in! Cook up something special for your boyfriend/girlfriend. Because being alone is so much better for when you really want to get gross. Even though it's Valentines day, not everyone appreciates the PDA. In fact, as a server, I know that many of my co-workers are dreading work that evening. Save the make out session for at home. Whether that means teasing when you're out, or not leaving the house at all.

Gentlemen, this is a perfect opportunity to do something nice for your sweetheart.

So some of you, even in couples, may think Valentines Day is a dumb, made up holiday. Which may be true. But lets not damper our day.

The best part of Valentines day? The lingerie, the sex, licking chocolate off of each other's stomachs? Yeah, just deal with it, it's well worth it.

For those of you feeling extra frisky, getting a hotel room for an evening to have a little play time is a good idea. Having roommates may also encourage this move. Because in a hotel room, you can be as loud as you like... for the most part anyway.

Other things to do when you've locked yourself in a hotel room with a hottie? Rent some porn and enjoy it shamelessly. Then maybe test out the moves? Just a thought for those of you feeling a little more playful than usual.

After all, it is V-day.

What are your plans for Valentines Day?

Designer lovin'

This is guaranteed to bring condoms back in style...or is it?

Tacky or tasteful? And would you buy these before getting your freak on, or stick to the trusty trojan brand? I mean, we know they make a solid handbag, but condoms?

As much as we can poke fun, I have to admit, it's pretty damn awesome. I sincerely hope these are included in the gift bags at awards shows.

What do YOU think?

-M

Fantasy Football

Now that the Super Bowl is over, gentlemen, you can take off your NFL gear and get over your hangover. Your day of manliness - chugging beer, eating chicken wings, etc. - is over.

Time to get back to the other playing field, one that I would argue is a lot more fun...the bedroom. So I've got a quickie post for you. But pay attention boys, this stuff matters!

Treat her right, and don't ask for anything in return tonight. It's all about us ladies this evening, after all, last night was all about YOU.

Here are the steps you should take to make her forget about how gross you can be.

1. Dinner date.

Make her dinner - something special! And something you know she loves. And yes, make it from scratch, make it look nice, and light some candles while you're at it!

2. Bubble bath

Whether it's just for her or for the both of you, a bubble bath is always a winner in my books. Make sure you have some delicious scents, too.

3. Massage

After a nice hot bath, pull out the massage oil and creams. Lay her down, ass naked, and rub her down. We all know she deserves it, from head to toe!

4. Let her be the boss

Tonight, she chooses what you're gonna watch. It's only fair.

And if you plan on skipping movie night, I suggest you read up on how to get down on your lady here!

Oh, it's going to be a good night.

-M

January heat

2012 is just around the corner, so I hope you have your best dresses picked out. It may be below zero but I think we can still create a little heat. I mostly mean between the sheets.

One of my favourite things about new years after the party dresses are the resolutions. Haven't we all gathered after the ball drops to whisper our plans, whether its hitting the gym or spending less on shoes (yeah, right). Sometimes a few are a bit out of reach but I have a couple of ideas that are definitely within reason if you are willing.

1. Get a little more va-va voom in the bedroom. For all of those in relationships, this is something that could take it to the next level. Don't get stuck in a rut. Spice it up if you haven't already. And the best part is you can start right when the clock strikes midnight. Fancy a kiss? Lay it on 'em and they'll be dying for more, and none of that "pecking" nonsense, I want PASSION! I want HEAT. If you're shy, get over it, a little PDA never killed anyone...I think.

2. Once the party ends you can really get to the good stuff. Happy new year sex, anyone? And share a little pillow-talk, too. Tell each other your new years resolutions. I must stress the importance of communication. If you want to become closer in the new year then you should consider some conversation following the whole ripping off each others clothes bit. I suggest a little truth or dare between the two of you. But avoid anything that may spark a fight! That would take the fun out of everything.

3. Invest in some sexy play time toys. Whether it's a barely there piece of lingerie or a vibrator, trying something new is always fun. I'm not recommending nipple clamps... unless you've reached that level, of course.

At the very least, try something new. Even just a new position can bring a whole lot of passion rushing back. So light some candles and get to it!

4. To my single people out there, let me just say, making a resolution to "get a boyfriend/girlfriend" is not a good one to go by. Enjoy single life while you have it, because telling yourself you NEED a partner is just ridiculous. You may also find yourself forcing relationships with people you don't even REALLY like. So a great resolution to go by is ENJOY life, let things happen, and if you meet the right person, that's a bonus. Forget about the ticking clock, instead, have some fun. Nothing wrong with a new years eve one night stand if you're up for it. We all need a little lovin' sometimes.

However, I can't stress the importance of independence. If you've had a rough year of dating, maybe 2012 will be a good time to take a break from it. As for the lack of sex, that is nothing a good vibrator can't fix. Focus on friendships this time around.

5. Be happy. I'm getting cheesy but starting the new year on the right foot is a good way to go. And if you're not happy, make a change. Whether its your relationship or you wardrobe.

What are YOUR new years resolutions?

-M

images via ellekelly.wordpress.com, esquire.com, whatsonxiamen.com

Fantasia

Let me kick off this blog post with an apology! I found my brain stirring ideas for days at a time but lacking the right moment when I could nestle into my couch for a good solid session of writing for you all. And for this I am sorry!

Now we can blast off!

We all have those thoughts in our heads that we might feel a bit awkward saying out loud. It seems as though we have been brought up in a society where letting your darkest desires surface is shameful and wrong. I would like to stand up and defy this societal norm which most young men and women seem to abide by.

If you want something you should scream it out loud!

What am I talking about? Your sexual fantasies of course.

There is a lot out there to cover, it would take me days and many pages to go over it. But maybe one day, I will try.

They can range from being tied up and slapped around to having the pool boy rip off your bikini. There are leather fetishes and rape fantasies, dominating and being dominated. The nurse who wants to make you feel better or the dominatrix who wants to handcuff you...

Whatever you pleasure, make it known to your partner. Sometimes it takes time to come out and admit that you want something in the bedroom, but the sooner you fess up, the better!

So here's how to come clean with your fantasies without worry...

First of all, don't be shy or ashamed. No matter what it is, be assured its normal and you're allowed to think about and DO whatever turns you on. If the person you're with can't understand that, well, I'm afraid they may just have to hit the road. If they feel uncomfortable, you will also feel uncomfortable. And when you're having sex, you should be able to let loose without over-thinking anything, in fact you shouldn't be thinking about much at all.

Once you've said something, they probably will too. Having one of you come forward makes it so much easier for both of you to talk about what turns you on. Communication is key in the bedroom if you want to have fun and feel great.

Then, once everything is out in the open, it's play time!

Oh, but you should have a safety word if play time ever gets too rough...

Share with me! What's your fantasy?

-M

*Images via askmen.com

The Kiss

Everyone seems to overlook the one thing I find to be very important and even more sensual than the act of sex.

If there is one thing I love, it is kissing. Not so much the gross displays of affection (but don't judge, we're all guilty!)...more so the deep kisses you can share with someone in the morning, before bed, and of course...pre, post, and of course during some steamy sexy time!

There are certain kisses in certain places that can leave you feeling so tingly and charged, there's no way you won't moan. And don't be afraid to add a little tongue (emphasis on a little, because sometimes thats REALLY all you need).

While simply kissing each others lips is oh so nice, you can let your mouth wander to other zones that will make you stir with pleasure.

The ears;

Before you groan and ignore this, try! Biting and licking the lobe, gently caressing around the edge of the ear with your lips and tongue, I guarantee you will feel very different after trying. The ears are extremely sensitive...well at least for me they are. They never get any attention, except for maybe your headphones, so show your lobes some love!

The neck;

Obvious but never overdone. We all hate hickeys but those are easy to avoid as long as your partner isn't merely sucking your neck (how highschool). Licking and gently kissing all over the neck, including the back of the neck is pure bliss.

The chest & nipples;

Trace your tongue around the nipples, flick them with your tongue, too. And this is the area where I feel biting is definitely necessary when permitted. Try lightly though, it would be awful to lose one.

The stomach;

Sensitive areas, ah yes, they are wonderful. The lower you work your way down the more sensitive it gets. So go ahead and be a tease.

The inner thighs;

Just when they think they're getting the goods, you pull this trick. Not only does it drive your partner wild, but the inner thighs are also another pretty sensitive area that can garner good reaction if done correctly! Be gentle, a kiss is a lot more sensual and feels a lot better when you do it with teasing lips and a light tongue.

And if you aren't completely terrified or driven mad by the thought of it...

The feet;

Personally, I have a major problem with feet. But I'm very aware that there are many out there who have a foot fetish. SO if you feel the need to kiss his/her feet or thoroughly enjoy having your feet played with, then by all means, INDULGE! The bedroom is your playground!

That's all for now, but I'm sure you can think of some other places I need not mention that could also use a kiss...

-M

*images via gallerym.com, Cordisa Express, 955klos.com, liquidsilverbooks.com

Musical moves

Music and sex practically go hand in hand. We've all heard it: Music leads to dancing, dancing leads to kissing, and kissing leads to sex. That's not always the case, but today, it definitely is.

Music choice can be very diverse in the bedroom, depending on the mood. There's always nights when you just want some slow jams, but of course it's fun to spice it up with something a bit more fun and fast-paced.

Exhibit A: Slow indie sex

This would be reserved for artists like The xx (I can practically hear the moaning when I listen to VCR), the acorn, and Air (I'm thinking the Virgin Suicides, so heavy...I recommend playground love). I also love Atlas Sound, Boards of Canada, Bahamas, Deerhunter, Explosions in the Sky, Horse Feathers, Great Lake Swimmers, Grizzly Bear, Sufjan Stevens, Radiohead and God is an Astronaut. All excellent choices for a more romantic feel sans cheese. For the ULTIMATE soft sexy night: Bon Iver all the way!
As for a very new favourite of mine: Warpaint. It will make you melt.



Exhibit B: Living a little electro

A little faster for your sweaty nights spent in bed. I'm a huge fan of a little electro...or a lot. The Avalanches have to be a part of your sexy sounds, and Caribou's "Swim" is up there for me as well. Chromeo is always fun, too! And for those who always love a little throw back, The Crystal Method always satisfies. Other favourites would have to be Cut Copy, Autoerotique, Discovery (Actually an ultimate fave), Ellen Alien, Crystal Castles, Skream, Prefuse 73, M83 and Holy Fuck.



Exhibit C: Rock steady, not too heavy

I have to say, Friendly fires fits in this category quite well. Also...The Handsome Furs, Menomena, The Wrens, Ratatat, Wintersleep, White Rabbits, and TV on the Radio...just to name a few.



Exhibit D: Bump n' grind

Ultimate cheese, of course! I'm talking the old and good stuff right here. How about some R. Kelly and 112 (Peaches n' Cream, as if you didn't hear that song in middle school), B2K, Boyz 2 Men, and...well, you get the idea. These are classics that can always get you in the mood...at least, I think so.



Exhibit E: Hard and fast

A little rough but who doesn't like that every so often? I enjoy some Dizzee Rascal, Girl Talk, Borgore, Sleigh Bells, Deadmau5, Datsik, DZ, Chrispy and Excision. This is the stuff that makes you go a little crazy in the sack. And... what you're likely to whip out only every so often. Not every night...unless you're all for hard and fast 24/7.



What are YOUR songs of choice?

-M

How to: cool down when things start to heat up...

Summer has obviously arrived if you didn't feel that wall of heat hit you these past few days! For those of you suffering without air condition, I feel your pain.

So now that the heat has arrived, I'm sure you don't want the heat in the bedroom to fade. Sweaty romps are fun and all but we could all use a few tricks to cool down while turning the heat up...you know what I mean?

Let's face it, sex can be sweaty. Slippery limbs all around and sweat everywhere could be a bit of a problem. So lets talk cooling down...while still keeping it hot in a different sort of way.

First of all...ice cubes. Take a few and rub them down each others backs, stomachs, legs and arms. It gives you a nice chill, and definitely wakes you up if you have the summer heat sleepy feeling.

Up next...the simplest solution, ever. Get a fan and place it beside your bed. Rotating fans are preferable. It will blow cool air all over your bodies, keeping the sweat at bay.

There is also the good old shower sex. Quite a task, but a good solution to sweaty situations. You could even just hop in before or after hitting the bedroom for a cool down.

Another delicious solution is to have some cool fruits like melon and berries at the bedside. Pop one into each others mouths every so often. Another fun bedroom food is ice cream, popsicles and the like. Maybe a bit sticky if things get out of hand, but cool none the less!

Hope you are all enjoying the sunshine! I know I am.

-M

*Images via sodahead.com and hubpages.com

Talk dirty to me

If you watch porn, you've heard it to the extreme.

The art of dirty talk. Some are masters, while others shy away. If your sex life is silent maybe you should try saying a few things to spice things up. But we're not all Sasha Grey, so don't be afraid to start out small. Easing yourself into it might be better, especially for you shy ones out there.

So when you think of dirty talk, the dirtiest words probably come to mind. That's fine, because maybe one day you'll find the courage to use them! But those aren't the words you have to use. Some people can't handle being called a whore in the sack, so ask first.

Dirty talk doesn't have to stay in the bedroom, but for the most part it should.

But if you're out with your guy one night, don't be afraid to lean in and tell him how bad you want him. He'll be itching to go home, and won't be able to stop thinking about it the whole night.

Then when you reach the bedroom, it can really begin.

Lets start with the basics.

"Harder", "faster", and "yes". Not only is it simple, but it lets your partner know you like what they're doing. You can decide on the tone and inflection to use...and whisper it in his ear...

Even the natural way you moan during sex can add to the experience.

Then there are bedroom nicknames. They can range from something sweet and saucy, to a bit more extreme. You wouldn't call your girlfriend/boyfriend a dirty little ho anywhere else, but maybe that's what they like in bed.

And when you're really into the action, you can start throwing demands around. Tell him what you want, and where you want it. If you're into swearing, that works too. I'm sure you can think of a few right now!

Other things you could throw in the mix...

Let him know if you want it rough.

Tell him how you feel...and how he feels inside you. You could say something along the lines of "I love it when you [------]", "I want you to [------]". You get the idea. Just keep it simple. We can leave the heavy hitting to the pros. And besides, half the time the dirty porno talk can get annoying.

Basically, just blurt out what you're thinking. If it feels great then let him know!

Dirty talk isn't for everyone though, so do what feels comfortable. And if you are into it, remember that you don't have to talk dirty EVERY time you go at it. It's just a thought for when you're feeling extra playful and in a dirty mood. It doesn't have to be serious, so if you giggle after asking him to smack your ass, thats ok. Keep it light and fun.

Enjoy.

-M

*image via relationshipblaybook.com and sodahead.com

Ladies love porn too!

Porn. I have a passion for it, really.

I've learned a lot about the pornography industry, and something that really interested me was the idea of feminist porn.

So what's that? Porn for women...made by women. And no, it's not all like this.

Actually, that whole trailer had me laughing uncontrollably. Well, that's what you get when you type "porn for women" into your search engine. Cheesy, right? Why is there an assumption that women want romance and soft music? What's with the soft core? Maybe some of us just want straight up raunchy sex? I may not speak for every girl out there, but Sasha Grey has got it going on. She also has reportedly left the porn industry, so that's a bit upsetting.

I've looked into feminist porn quite a bit, and the sex isn't all that different. But the making of is definitely interesting. Before filming, they get to choose who they are going to have sex with on camera. So, basically, you get a line up of potential suitors, and pick the one you would want to bring home from the bar any other night.

There's also more concentration on female pleasure. We're always waiting for the guy to get off, don't you get tired of the same old facial? Hello, the female orgasm is a million times better than some dude grunting and groaning (No offense, guys).

So maybe some feminists don't think feminist porn exists, but it's pretty difficult to classify. Tristan Taormino, a porn director, said so herself...you can check out some of her thoughts here!

Call it what you want, either way, porn is great. Admit it.

One pornographer I have come to love is Anna Span...

She has a killer website, you can check it out here but you better be over 18!

She's the perfect example of porn for women. And REAL porn at that. Not that there's fake porn I guess, but it's not flowery or cheesy. Sorry, but candles and low lighting isn't going to make a girl climax. Well, in my thoughts anyway.

Also, watching porn has been so stigmatized. Lets just drop that. Everyone does it. Girls do it. They just don't want to admit it. It's the same as masturbation...ladies like to keep that on the DL, you know what I'm saying?

But that's a whole other round I'll tackle next time!

I hope I've gotten you curious. Maybe you'll find a new passion in the same general playing field...but with a feminist twist?

-Mel

Rise & Grind

It's the long weekend, and it's time to put a whole new meaning to the term "rise and grind" over the next few days. I might be unemployed at the moment, but that is besides the point.

What's better than waking up to a nice hot cup of coffee? Well, let's be honest, I think morning sex takes the cake. It might even make you feel better than java could. Wait, did I say it might? I meant it will DEFINITELY make you feel better.

I'm sure you've heard it before...men are always more frisky in the morning. Well it's true, why do you think they wake up ready to go anyway?

Of course, the morning breath and messy hair might not be the biggest of turn ons, but a dash of mouthwash and a comb through your hair should do the trick. Personally, I'm a fan of my big messy hair in the morning (most of the time, anyway). And besides, if you're really that worried about what you look like in the morning you could always just take it to the shower. But be warned, shower sex takes practice and pretty good balance. Most people I know actually hate it. As one friend of mine says: "Sex is like pizza, even when it's bad, it's still good." But let's be honest, no one likes soggy pizza.

So back on track...why should you indulge in morning sex?

First of all, endorphins. You COULD go for a jog but I'm pretty sure you would rather stay in bed and feel awesome.

Also, it's much easier to wake up. Maybe you'll be sluggish and lazy at first, but once you get the ball rolling, it's kind of hard to feel tired.

But be warned: While guys are pretty much ready to go before they even open their eyes, women need a little more lovin' before it goes down. It doesn't matter how lazy you might be gentlemen, give her some foreplay. We all know us girls deserve it. Especially considering how great the rest of your day will be, all because of us. After all, women are at their sexual height in the evening. But that doesn't mean we don't want it in the morning too...

This is NOT what we want

This is what we WANT

Any Questions? Send them to me!

And have a great weekend. And by great I mean filled with awesome morning sex.

-Mel

First photo is from www.msn.ca
Second photo is from http://thewayilikesex.tumblr.com